For many, many years, I have lived a relatively drama-free existence, (which has actually been kind of difficult, considering I am married). Actually, most of my life has been pretty mellow; my stint with “the dramatic” was in high school, where for a few years I got into this cycle of creating drama just to have to work through the drama and then come out feeling productive and happy. I experienced highs and lows from relationships with my family, friends, boyfriend; I would get a rush from doing the things I needed to do (such as school) at the very last minute; I had the typical teen angst of trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted from my life. All of the emotions that this self-made drama brought made me feel very inspired in things like art, music, and writing. However, in retrospect those were my least happy years of my 25-year-long existence.
Why People Create Drama In Their Lives
Drama is like a substance, in my opinion: it’s bloody addictive. For those of us who are artistically inclined, it can be the greatest source of creative inspiration. For those of us who have low self-esteem, it can be something that makes us feel like they have control of our life, (creating problems just to solve them). For those of us who have issues dealing with our issues, it can be a welcome distraction. And for all of us, it can be the best excuse for bad behavior, and anything/everything that’s wrong with our lives, (and especially what we believe others are judging us for) — it makes us feel like we’re victims of our own misfortune.
I think many people gravitate towards and/or create drama in their lives for many reasons: boredom, because they’ve watched too many movies and actually believe that that’s how life works, low self-esteem, inability to work through real issues, and general irrationality. I also think we’re all guilty of doing it on some level, at some point, and for our own reasons. Drama is especially easy to find in relationships, and specifically in the brand of couple-relationships.
Why I Chose To Try To Eliminate Drama From My Life
Traveling was the biggest motive for eliminating drama in my life. After going to Mexico for the first time when I was 12, and seeing that people there appeared much happier to me despite obviously having a lot less, suddenly all my first world problems (like my mom not giving me money to go to the movies every week) seemed trivial in comparison. Over the years, with every new place I see or new person I meet, the more I realize how lucky I am to have been born who I am and where I was.
In addition, I’ve always been a anxious kind of girl. I am deeply affected by stress, and have found that drama (my own and others’) often makes me sick to my stomach, and gives me a whole host of other fun anxiety-inducted ailments. For me, avoiding drama is better than any anti-anxiety medication that I could take.
Life Is Better Without All The Drama!
There will always be drama in life — family feuds, money issues, acquaintances and loved ones who haven’t discovered this secret for themselves, spilling their drama into your “safe space” — so all I am saying is that it’s loco to go around creating more drama and/or letting the drama run loose like an escaped convict. If you are reading this you are a lucky person and chances are that your life is very good and very, very blessed. You should enjoy it and try to spread this positivity on to others, (something that I am convinced you cannot do unless you yourself are happy). And plus, life is too short to spend time putting yourself through the stress that self-made drama so often entails. You will most likely find that you are more happy, more productive, and just a better person if you cut unnecessary drama out of your life.
Here is some of what I’ve learned (through personal experience and witnessing of others) over the years, and a few ways to rid of unnecessary drama in your life:
- Make a conscious decision to avoid drama as much as possible, allow your own reason to dominate, and don’t let your emotions control you, especially in times of conflict
- Work on yourself — “be the change you want to see in the world” and all that — it actually works, and anyways, inward focus and reflection can do no harm
- Be a good person: those old school moral “rules and regulations” are actually pretty tried and tested, and at least in our society they can determine and predict how people behave. So abiding by them, and more importantly not treating people in a way that you yourself would not want to be treated, is a great way for avoiding dramatic situations
- To the best of your ability, choose to be around people who are positive individuals, and try to avoid people who are drama-magnets (I would definitely advise not starting a relationship with someone who is)
- Allow yourself to let go: of negative emotions, of things people have done that have hurt you, of people themselves who are and should stay in your past
- Avoid the “Atlas complex” — ask for help: whether it be a counsellor or your mom, often people on the outside have a different and helpful view on your situation; also, reaching out for support is not a sign of weakness but rather strength at allowing yourself to be loved and comforted when you most need it
- Be the bigger person: if there is someone who you usually have conflict with (a family member, perhaps?) imagine a potential scenario and how you will handle it in the most respectful and courteous way prior to it actually going down
- If you find yourself in a dramatic and/or heated situation (especially with a spouse or partner), extract yourself physically and give yourself and them time to cool off — emotions often obstruct reason